What is parental alienation?
Parental alienation otherwise known as “alienating behaviours” shown by a parent is a form of emotional child abuse which can have lasting effects on both the child and the targeted parent. It involves a parent’s conscious effort to alienate a child against the other parent through ongoing mental manipulation, negative behaviours and criticism. In doing so, the alienating parent has the potential to devalue or even destroy the child’s relationship with the targeted parent.
A desire to withhold the child from the other parent often stems from lingering bitterness and hostility about the separation. This typically leads to the fabrication of false beliefs or stories which are passed to the child, as well as withholding positive information, about the other parent. Seeming disinterested and absent in the child’s life can cause the child to unapologetically reject the targeted parent, even if it is a product of the alienating parent’s lies.
In this guide we will cover the 17 signs of parental alienation that parents need to be aware of.
17 signs of parental alienation
When tackling parental alienation, it’s important to have practical tools that are accessible to help with the identification and intervention of alienating behaviours. Recognising the signs early on means the situation can be addressed promptly, and the timing of these circumstances make a significant difference to the lives of those involved.
Displays of parental alienation aren’t just presented by the parent either, as children are just as likely to adopt alienating behaviours under parental influence which is one-sided. To make this a little clearer, we have separated the main signs of parental alienation into behaviours conducted by both the parent and child.
Signs of parental alienation by the child:
- Expresses disapproval towards the targeted parent and extreme loyalty to the alienating parent
- Justifies their own actions and feelings of hostility towards the targeted parent
- Conforms to the opinions and beliefs of the alienating parent
- Impermeable to feelings of guilt
- Displays hatred towards the targeted parents’ relatives
- Believes they rejected the targeted parent off their own accord
- Idealises the alienating parent
Signs of parental alienation by the parent:
- Consistently talks bad of the targeted parent
- Withholds important information about the child from the targeted parent, such as medical or academic updates
- Refers to the targeted parent by their first name, instead of ‘mum’ or ‘dad’
- Convinces the child that the targeted parent does not love or care for them
- Confides too heavily in the child
- Puts the child in awkward positions to choose between either parent
- Tells the child that the targeted parent is dangerous
- Intervenes with the child’s and targeted parent’s communication
- Restricts contact with the targeted parent
- Withdrawal of love
However signs of parental alienation aren’t always overt actions and some individuals are much more subtle with their approach. Despite the presentation being unobvious, it doesn’t change the objective and it is an active form of emotional child abuse. Any unwarranted attempt to sway the child into believing the targeted parent is a bad person is considered parental alienation.
Having false accusations made about you, and those being instilled into your child, can be extremely distressing for the targeted parent and the remainder of their parenting journey.
How to address parental alienation
Mitigating the impact of parental alienation can be tricky, especially when key relationships are on the line. That’s why a rationalised response is so important, ensuring the child has enough breathing space to make their own decisions, without seeming disinterested in their life.
If the stress of the situation is too consuming and delaying everyday practices, consider speaking to a mental health professional for advice. Tailored therapy sessions offer a safe space for the targeted parent to discuss and effectively manage their situation, ultimately taking care of their own wellbeing.
There’s no guarantee that the first attempt at addressing parental alienation will achieve the desired outcome, in which case the targeted parent should take legal action to strengthen their argument and have matters dealt with more seriously.
How Buckles can support
If you are a victim of your former partner or spouse denying contact with your child for no justifiable reason, seeking legal advice is the distinct next step. Our dedicated team of family lawyers at Buckles Solicitors are here to listen and advise based on your needs, fighting your corner when times are tough.
For parental alienation support or any other family law enquiry, please send us an email at enquiries@buckles-law.co.uk to discuss your situation in full confidence.
